here you will find a series of images and words that i half-heartedly and infrequently share with the world wide internet. if you promise to keep your expectations low, i promise to always satisfy.
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I use to write. I use to stay up at night and write without judgement. It use to comfort me. I was better at being alone then. Now instead of writing I text. Text for hours to people I barely know. I’m trying to connect with people in order to calm my mind because I’ve shut myself out for so long. it feels like I’m waking up from a dream or delusion I’ve been in for years. Realizing how much of a liar I’ve been to myself. I didn’t even know what it meant to be “honest to yourself”. This is my dementia but maybe in some light my beauty. I lived a lot of my life so far doing things I didnt even want to do. I’m the worst species of people pleasers there is. I use to think being liked by many meant strength …now I can’t see it as anything other than a weakness. Part of my social anxiety stems from knowing I have no control over myself saying no to people. I never even took the time to ask myself what I’m scared of by saying no to people…was it to be not liked? To be not fucking liked by people that don’t give a fuck about whether I live or die.
(Source: rachelroze)@2 months ago with 20 notes